


A Fruit For All Seasons

by VaultBunny (Spinning_Hatter)



Series: Bury My Heart in Stardew Valley [2]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Building a Healthy Relationship, Emotional Healing, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Issues, Healing, More tags to follow as story progresses, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Sexual Abuse, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-06-29 21:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19839292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinning_Hatter/pseuds/VaultBunny
Summary: Lilah Casey is still alive.Emery Rowe is behind bars.Five years of being broken down is not an easy thing to forget, but she's learning.  With her first year in Stardew Valley coming to a close, Lilah is ready to build the life she knows she deserves...and the family she never knew she wanted.





	1. The Start of the Rest of Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> Awwww shit, here we go again.
> 
> Welcome to Bury My Heart in Stardew Valley Season 2: A Fruit For All Seasons! I am so excited to start on this chapter of Lilah's life in Pelican Town and I hope you're all ready to join me. If you haven't already, please go read Bury My Heart in Stardew Valley as you kind of need the context to enjoy this story. I still go back and edit those chapters to this day (so can I really mark it as a completed story? lol) but nothing will have changed so dramatically that previous readers can't jump right into this story and enjoy.
> 
> Bear in mind: This story will have slower updates than BMHISDV. I feel like I rushed a lot of the previous installment just so I could get it done quickly enough to keep up with readers. I feel like if I took more time with it, I wouldn't still be going back and tweaking it almost a year later. I thank you in advanced for understanding.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support for the last story and I hope this one continues to entertain you!
> 
> USA National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)//1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

Time was a fickle thing. Weeks could pass by like seconds, seconds like hours, and sometimes time just stood still—that much-too-loud sweep hand on a cheap plastic clock freezing at the 59th tic as the battery died. There was a time in Lilah’s life where the world around her had stopped. For five years the clock remained stuck at one second to midnight, a single moment of perpetual Hell frozen around her, but there were no batteries to pop into the back to get things moving again. It wasn’t until she found herself sitting on a grungy bus station bench, a ticket grasped between sweating fingers, that the clock started moving again. Midnight struck as her eyes locked onto smudged ink reading ONE WAY: STARDEW VALLEY, and a new day had finally begun. 

Since that day, time seemed to race by at triple speed. It was hard to believe that nearly a year had passed since she’d flown from the cement prison of Zuzu City to settle at Haven Farm. So much had happened in such a short span of time, her experience in the city felt like a lifetime ago. For too long she had felt trapped, alone, looking for an escape over a railing 14 stories high. She never believed that she would find herself on her grandfather’s farm, surrounded by friends that had become her family.

Winter was coming to an end soon and Pelican Town was aglow. The seaside town glistened from thick blankets of pure snow that crunched pleasantly beneath Lilah’s boots. For three days the sky had opened, snowstorms ravaging the entire county until there was nothing left to do but hunker down in front of the fireplace and wait the weather out. The sun was finally shining with not a cloud in sight and the citizens plagued by cabin-fever were already out shoveling pathways to their homes and businesses. Lilah hadn’t bothered, though she knew she’d regret it later when she’d have to trudge back through the powder. 

She left Haven with wings on her heels and her heart hammering in her chest, warmer than the sunlight blazing through the winter-chilled wind. She held an insulated travel mug of coffee in her gloved hands as she trekked up the mountain path, a giddy smile plastered on her face and a weekend duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

She hadn’t seen Sebastian in nearly three weeks—just after bringing in the new year together. His latest project left no time for anything more than scattered naps, working even while cooking and eating his meals. Lilah visited as much as possible to make sure he was doing well but she feared that she was more of a distraction than anything else. At the thought, she’d offered to give him space while he worked and he agreed after much hesitation.

_“I’m sorry,” he told her with a stricken expression. The dark circles under his eyes were far more pronounced, his cheeks gaunt, such a large project required just as much sacrifice and Lilah hoped it would all be worth it in the end._

_“Don’t apologize. Just promise that you’ll take care of yourself?” She worried over the discarded cups of coffee and cans of energy drinks that littered his desk. Bas seemed to follow her eyes and smiled sheepishly, standing from his chair to kiss her once._

_“I will.” His cheeks reddened and he glanced away, “When I’m finished, let’s go on a date. A real one.”_

_“Yeah?” Lilah grinned. Of course, they’d been on dates before but Sebastian regularly groused about the lack of things to do in Pelican Town. Lilah assured him that they could just sit in his room watching shitty sci-fi B-movies and she’d be happy, though he insisted he wanted to take her out “for real” at least once._

_“Yeah, so I’ll finish as fast as possible.” Bas kissed her again, then twice more, then again and again until she giggled and placed her hand on his chest to keep him at bay._

_“I’ll see you later,” she said._

“Later” turned out to be a total of 16 days, excluding one brief visit to discuss their date before the snowstorm. 16 days that stretched on like decades. It was the longest they’d gone without seeing each other since they’d become friends— much less a couple— so it was difficult not to run up the mountain path to his house as soon as she had woken up. She’d busied herself in the basement. 

The autumn months had been spent organizing and cleaning Gramps’s old tools, and Lilah had loved it down there ever since. The casks and pickling barrels were still in great shape, beehouses and trellises just waited for springtime to arrive in order to be put to good use. There were so many possibilities once the frost thawed, she’d already filled two spiral notebooks with plans for the new year. She’d managed to occupy herself until just after 8:00 and couldn’t bring herself to wait much longer. 

Lilah slid across the snow frozen to ice, cheeks burning from the cold and the ache of her smile. The sight of the carpenter’s shop sent her heart soaring and she slipped the spare key Bas had given her from her coat pocket, letting herself inside and shaking off the snow from her boots on the towels Robin had laid out in the foyer.

“Lilah?” Robin called from the hallway.

“It’s me!”

Robin came out with a smile, still dressed in a warm looking robe and pajama pants, her own mug of coffee steaming in her hands. Lilah dumped her bag near the door and hung up her scarf and coat.

“Did you have breakfast yet? Demetrius just finished cooking.” 

“I’m okay right now, thank you.” She kicked her boots off and tried to rein her excitement in. “Is Bas still asleep?”

“He hasn’t come upstairs yet but he’s been sleeping in for the past few days. Make sure you both eat something before you leave, okay?”

“Will do,” Lilah promised. 

Downstairs, Bas’s bedroom was dark. Snow blocked the small windows near the ceiling, glowing an icy gray from the sunlight outside but not allowing much natural light in. Lilah kept the stairwell door open, letting the lamplight from the hallway give her some form of illumination so she didn’t crash into anything. She set the travel mug on his desk, maneuvering through to his bed where the sheets gently rose and fell with his breathing. His dark hair was in his face, long lashes brushing the tops of his cheeks in that way that made her want to trail kisses along his cheekbones.

She’d missed him so much.

He was so peaceful, Lilah couldn’t bring herself to wake him. Carefully, she pulled back the sheets just enough to slip into bed beside him. Enveloped by warmth, her eyes closed and she lost herself in the mix of scents that was so completely Sebastian. She wanted to wrap herself up in his sheets and never leave.

The bed creaked as Bas shifted beside her. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. He held her tightly, murmuring nonsense into her hair in his sleep. Lilah burrowed her face into his t-shirt, heart overflowing with emotion now that she was back in his arms, face nestled against the steady thrumming of his heartbeat. She tilted her head back to press a kiss to his throat, letting her lips linger against his warm skin. His body warmed hers better than any fireplace and she trailed her lips along the line of his neck. 

Was this how he felt that last day she’d seen him? When she’d laughed and pushed him away to get back to work? All she wanted was to feel him, regain that part of her that was always missing whenever he wasn’t around. She wished she had let him kiss her as much as he wanted before she left.

She made it to his jawline by the time Bas inhaled deeply. He grumbled, deep in his throat, and tilted his head to meet her wandering kisses with his own. His lips quirked with a hint of a smile as his hands travelled up her back to tangle his fingers into her hair. 

“Good morning.” His voice was gravelly from sleep, deeper than usual, and it pulled her in like a siren’s song. 

“Morning.” Lilah ran her fingers through his hair, soft and sleep-tousled. She melted when his lips met hers again.

“I missed you,” he murmured between kisses, cupping her face in his hands. “You smell like snow...and coffee.”

“There’s a cup on your desk for you. It should still be hot.” Lilah grinned, squirming and laughing when he buried his face into the curve of her neck and nibbled lightly. He rolled on top of her and stretched his arm out to the lamp on his bedside table, flipping it on as he peppered more playful kisses beneath her jaw.

“Damn,” he sighed, pulling away and looking her over with a lazy smile. His eyes were half-lidded, still hazy with sleep and something else Lilah couldn’t quite place in the lamplight. “Have you always been this gorgeous?”

Her stomach somersaulted at his words, heart thundering against her ribcage. She laughed it off and wrapped her arms around his neck, but she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I think you’re still dreaming,” she teased. 

Sebastian hummed thoughtfully, brushing a gentle kiss against the scar on her left cheek. She tilted her face towards the pillow to try and cover it—it was no longer raised up or a terribly irritated red color, but she still felt self conscious everytime she was reminded of it. Bas took her chin in his hand, facing her forward so he could kiss it again.

“Waking up next to you, getting to do stuff like this first thing in the morning, it definitely feels like a dream come true.”

“Holy shit, Bas...” Lilah laughed again, trying to take the strain off of her pounding heart. “How’d you get so smooth all of a sudden?”

“Internet?” He offered, grinning as she shoved him off of her with bright red cheeks. “I always get embarrassed when I talk to you, maybe I wanted to see you blush for once.”

“Well, you succeeded, you brat.” Lilah huffed, pretending to be angry even as she battled with the ridiculous smile on her face. “I’m gonna drink your coffee.”

“Woah, hold on!” Bas pulled her back before she could wiggle out of bed. “Let’s talk about this.”

“Sorry, we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Bas laughed, his fingers running along the hem of her sweater. He touched her slowly, tracing the curve of her waist and hips. His fingertips dipped beneath her shirt to caress the strip of skin above her waistband.

“In that case,” a ghost of a kiss brushed against her neck as Bas spoke, “I guess it’s war.”

Lilah yelped, curling up on her side in a feeble attempt to shield herself from his tickling fingers. She twisted away and grabbed at his hands, lungs burning with gasps for breath between shrieks of laughter. The torture was thankfully brief. Bas’s palms smoothed along her sides, soothing the abused skin with warmth. Her muscles still twitched, eyes watered, and residual breathless giggles escaped her as he nuzzled his face into her neck. She felt his chest rise against her back with each breath, shaking with laughter, and his nose nuzzled just behind her ear. His fingers slipped down to her hips, massaging small circles as he slid her shirt over her stomach. A soft pressure urged her onto her back. Bas moved to hover over her, face flushed and eyes like obsidian burning through her flesh even through her clothes. 

That look enticed and terrified her all at once.

His lips molded over hers. The kiss, so unlike the playful pecks from before, consumed all thought and blazed through her body, melting into the pit of her stomach. Each touch was lightning, from his tongue leisurely exploring her mouth to his fingertips tracing the ladder of her ribcage. Lilah’s nails dug into his shirt, fisting the fabric and pulling him closer until he was flush against her. No matter how much he touched her, it wasn’t enough. 

He dipped his head to lathe open mouthed kisses to the slope of her neck. He murmured softly against her flesh, so quiet that the pounding of her heart drowned out his words. The touches were slow, almost too much so, but any protest tumbled off the tip of her tongue in an unintelligible gasp as his thumbs followed the band of her bra.

“Is this okay?” He asked against the hollow of her throat.

_Of course it’s okay_ , she wanted to say. 

_I’ve wanted this for a while_ , she wanted to say. 

Her tongue felt thick in her mouth. Her heart stuttered like it would stop pumping at any moment. Sixteen days without him had left every last cell inside her craving his presence. Each nerve-ending cried out for his gentle touch, for the way he smiled against her skin as he showered her with kisses and the soft words he whispered just for himself. She wanted to feel him as much as possible but the words constricted in her throat.

_Who would want a disgusting slut like you?_

The voice in her head wasn’t Sebastian’s— her mind couldn’t even conjure him saying such a thing. Still, the chill that settled inside her veins couldn’t be thawed by happy thoughts alone. She tried to power through it, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to force her mind to stop spiraling. 

“Lilah.”

Bas removed his hands from beneath her shirt, cupping her cheeks in his warm palms. The tremble of her own lips shocked her when he kissed her again, gentle and chaste, a light pressure of skin against skin that didn’t demand anything more than the lightest contact. Her hands were numb, clenching the fabric covering his chest like she would drown without him. One of his hands covered both of hers, curling his fingers around them. He didn’t pull her away, only settled a comforting weight on the back of her fists.

“It’s okay. Hey,” he squeezed her hands lightly, “do you want to stop?”

Lilah swallowed thickly, forcing herself to nod. He wasted no time in gathering her into his arms and laying back, cradling her head against his chest. The steady thrumming of his heart pulsed through her ears, coursed through her body until her breaths timed with the rise and fall of his and her bone-white knuckles released their grip of his shirt. Bas seemed to sense when she finally relaxed, long fingers curling beneath her chin to tilt her face back. He met her eyes, searching with brows furrowed as though he could find the cracks in her psyche just by looking through her irises. 

How many times had this happened already? How many more times was he willing to put up with it? It seemed like ever since they became official, something got in the way. Friends, locale issues, and recently it felt like she was sabotaging their relationship all by herself. No matter how badly she wanted to be with him, she became paralyzed by fear.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” Lilah looked away. It felt like he could see right through her, see all the thoughts that swarmed in her mind like hornets. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

_Maybe he should hit you first. You were always ready to fuck your way out of a beating._

She pressed herself closer against him. 

“It’s alright.” Bas’s hand gently rubbed along her spine. He kissed her furrowed brow and smiled when she finally looked at him again. “I should probably start getting ready anyway. We don’t want to head out too late.”

“You still want to take me out?” She asked.

“Of course I do.” Bas squeezed her to his body. “Unless you’re not feeling up to it?”

Lilah shook her head. She slipped her hands between his back and the mattress, returning his embrace until she could make herself remember she was supposed to be excited about today. Their first “real” date. The thought brought a smile back to her face, small but not unnoticed as Bas’s face was alight the moment he saw it.

“I’m up to it. It’s practically all I’ve been thinking about lately. It’s just,” Lilah grimaced, “I know this is all... frustrating.”

He arched a dark eyebrow and shifted to sit up slightly. Lilah moved enough so she wasn’t pinning him to the bed but he held her to his lap, refusing to separate their bodies completely.

“Lilah, I’m never going to get upset because you need to stop. Ever. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Lilah rested her head against his shoulder as he held her.

_No one is this understanding_ , that voice whispered again, albeit quieter than before. _He’s annoyed, how could he not be? He’ll only put up with this for so long and you know what happens next._

“Bas?” She hoped her voice wasn’t shaking as much as she thought it was. “Can you kiss me again?”

Bas tilted her face towards him and kissed her solidly in response. Maybe he knew that as long as his lips were against hers, that demonic voice in the back of her mind couldn’t get in a word edgewise. He kissed her until her mind went blessedly blank, and longer still, until she finally pulled away and felt a bit more like herself again.

“Better?” He smiled.

“Better.” Lilah nestled herself closer against him. “Thank you.”

“Oh, anytime.” Bas gave her one more kiss against the crown of her head. “Ready to go?”

Lilah nodded, smiling at the excitement shining in his eyes. They forced themselves out of bed and Bas started scrounging through his closet for clothes to wear. She left him to change, closing the door behind her and heading up the stairs to wait.

This was their weekend...she hoped she wouldn’t ruin it for the both of them.

* * *

Highway 15 was a long stretch of road through nowhere. The street was usually empty on the east side of the I-7, traffic only picking up when one merged onto the interstate heading northbound to Zuzu City. During the warmer months, the 15 was usually sandwiched between walls of wheat or corn grown by the commercial farmers of Stardew County. Now, an endless expanse of snow and ice-covered fields was all the view offered until the on ramp.

Well, maybe that wasn’t _all_ the view, Sebastian thought.

Lilah looked out the windshield with her boots abandoned on the floor of Demetrius’s truck, knees tucked up against her chest. The fingers of one hand intertwined with his, thumb idly playing against his hand as she softly sang along to the radio when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. But how could he not be? 

He knew he’d never be able to say it out loud, but she commanded his attention whenever she was in the room. Something about her drew his eye to her like opposite ends of a magnet, to the point where just looking at her became a part of his routine—even while driving. 

Watch the road.

Check the mirrors.

Watch the road.

Watch her lips quietly form the words to a song he never knew he loved until just this moment.

Watch the road.

Remember how soft her kisses felt fluttering across his lips and jaw like butterflies.

Remember the heat that scorched him with the swirl of her tongue against his, those lips red and swollen when they finally separated for air.

Check the mirrors and hope the heat burning his cheeks wasn’t visible.

They’d spent most of the drive in companionable silence with only the lull of the radio between them. It gave his mind plenty of time to wander, though he tried to keep his thoughts in check. Since they agreed on a weekend outside of the Valley, he couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities. Three days with just the two of them and no friends to burst in unannounced to her cabin, no sister to forget to knock on his bedroom door just to tell him that dinner was ready (Maru still had trouble looking him in the face most days), no interruptions. Though, he didn’t expect anything out of the norm to happen even if he could manage to assuage all her fears in a single weekend.

The way she froze beneath him this morning had made his stomach sink. Lilah had looked at him the same way she’d looked when they’d first met on her porch: wide-eyed and wounded as though he were some sort of fellbeast drawn by the scent of her blood. He cursed himself for moving too fast, hated that there was nothing more he could say than words that could just as easily be false assurances. Most days he was thankful she trusted him enough just to hold her. Others had his hormones running rampant, extended cold showers after seeing her home safely followed by restless nights of his imagination running wild of what could be. He often wondered if she went through the same.

When she touched him, even now when the most intimate act they could accomplish was her hand in his, it was not the touch of someone too afraid to connect with him. She sought him out willingly, always looking for some way to be near him, but he could see her struggle each time. She’d asked him to take things slow and he was more than willing. He didn’t expect her to throw herself at him the second Emery was locked behind bars—the years of training and abuse couldn’t be so easily forgotten—but he could tell she was trying.

Yoba, was she _trying_.

They’d come close a few times and took three steps back at others. Sometimes just a touch of his finger in the wrong place brought a dark, cold haze to her eyes that crushed his heart. Sometimes they’d only be partially clothed, deeply engaged in heavy petting before she would start to tremble and babble unnecessary apologies as he held her. 

He understood that time was something necessary for her to heal as much as she could. He wouldn’t push her, nor was he willing to let her believe that he was ever angry or annoyed with her for needing to take that time.

Was he angry? Absolutely.

At her? Never.

Emery Rowe was lucky that he was safely locked away from the rest of the world. Every time Lilah stiffened under his touch or jumped when he rose his voice just a fraction too high, Sebastian wished he was back at Haven with Emery’s glock pointed straight at him. He wished he had rushed the man and unloaded the damn thing into him—one bullet for each broken bone, molestation, and act of dehumanization he had ever subjected Lilah to. 

He wished he actually had it in him to kill that man.

His hand must have tightened around hers because Lilah turned to look at him with those big stormy eyes that he just wanted to lose himself in.

“You okay?” She asked. She wrapped her other hand on top of their intertwined fingers and all he wanted to do was kiss the wrinkles between her brows smooth.

“I’m fine. Just thinking.” 

“What about?”

“You.” He grinned at her pink cheeks and turned his attention back to the road.

“Well, now I’m curious.”

“I was just thinking about the first thing we should do when we get to the city.” It wasn’t too far from the truth— every moment not spent working had been consumed by the thought of what would have her smiling the most during their trip.

“I guess we have to check into the hotel.” Hesitation weighed down her voice and she rested her head against his shoulder.

Was she having second thoughts? He’d been a bit nervous to even suggest a weekend trip to Zuzu City as Lilah had a healthy reluctance to return to the place. After weighing some other options, she’d ultimately agreed to a weekend in the city with the condition that they stay away from her previous neighborhood—a condition that he was only too happy to oblige.

“It’s not too late. We can skip the interstate and keep west straight to Calico,” he offered. It seemed like she was about to agree but she shook her head, squeezing his hand with both of hers.

“It’s not that.” She took a deep breath and set her jaw. “I _want_ to go. I want to see the city you see...it always feels like we’re talking about two different places.”

Bas raised their entwined hands and kissed her fingers. Whatever memories plagued her from the city, he was ready to help replace them. 

“It’s just,” she gnawed her lower lip, “it’s just going to be the two of us.”

“That’s the plan. Unless Sam and Abigail decide to peep again.”

That got a small smile out of her, as fleeting as it was.

“Bas,” her tone grew serious but she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “you know that I _do_ want you, right?”

Sebastian silently thanked Demetrius for offering his truck for their trip. If they’d been on his bike, he certainly would’ve wiped out and they’d be spending their weekend getaway in separate hospital beds. The heat that should have warmed his cheeks in shock instead shot through the veins below his belt.

“I—” his voice squeaked and he cleared his throat, swallowed against the sudden dryness, and, damn it, there was her small, nervous smile to make it worse. “I do,” he finally managed. 

Lilah nodded, seemingly pleased with his response. She still hesitated before speaking again.

“It’ll be just the two of us. In a hotel room. I want to—well, what I mean is…I don’t want to disappoint you again, and...”

_What?_

Sebastian frowned as she tripped over her words. He’d always thought she was pretty level-headed (and, in most cases, she was) but Lilah had a habit of thinking, and thinking, and _thinking_ whenever it came to him. If she’d already taken it that far just from this morning then he had his work cut out for him.

She still tried to pick her words carefully, but he blocked them out. The road was mostly empty, so he didn’t have to yield to anyone as he turned the wheel and cut the truck across two lanes to pull over on the shoulder.

Lilah blinked and snapped her mouth shut. Her skin paled as he slipped his hand out of her grip and threw the truck in park, all but ripping the seatbelt off himself so he could turn to face her. He unclicked her seatbelt as well and shifted his hips so his knee pressed into the cushion of her seat.

“B-Bas, I’m—”

Sebastian sealed his mouth over hers, taking advantage of interrupting her mid-sentence to slip his tongue past her lips to tangle with hers.

A kiss. Whenever he saw her eyes widen in panic as her thoughts stampeded away from her, she always asked him to kiss her and she’d calm down. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever kissed her like this, more forcefully than he generally liked but desperation floundered in his chest. 

_Don’t look at me like I’m Him._

_Don’t talk to me like I’m Him._

How many different ways could he promise her that he’d never hurt her? 

How could he make her believe him when he said he wasn’t angry or disappointed with her? 

Bas slipped his hand into her hair and forced himself to slow down. He pulled away just enough to suck gently on her lower lip, relief flooding through him when her hands cupped his jaw and she started to kiss him back. She sighed softly, melting into him, and he wished they were anywhere else but the side of a highway.

Lilah’s eyes fluttered open after he pulled away, heart hammering in his chest and the feel of her still tingling on his lips.

“Better?” He asked.

She blinked up at him, pink rising to her cheeks. She stroked his bottom lip with her thumb, a small smile softening her face.

“Better.”

“Good.”

Bas sat back to give her room in the small cab but took both of her hands in his. He pondered on what to say, how to say it, but words never came easily to him. He took a deep breath and smiled at her in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

“I think I get what you were trying to tell me but I want to get one thing straight: you could never disappoint me. Got it?” He waited for her to nod before continuing. “I’m not with you just because I want to have sex with you. I’m with you because I care about you. We have the rest of our lives for everything else.”

Lilah blinked, staring at him with large eyes. Had he said something strange? His skin started to crawl the more she looked at him as if he’d just offered irrefutable proof that the planet was flat. Her eyes finally dropped to look at their joined hands, almost shyly. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen that sort of expression on her face before. 

“The rest of our lives, huh?” She mused.

If she hadn’t been holding onto his hands, Sebastian would have covered his face. The implications of the phrase were not lost on him—he definitely hadn’t thought it through before he spoke. Still, the idea wasn’t an unattractive one. Before he knew it, his plans for the future had changed drastically from a mere studio apartment in the city. The idea of staying in the Valley didn’t seem as terrible as it had a year ago and not a single fantasy was without Lilah standing beside him.

He swallowed down his embarrassment and focused on the way their fingers naturally laced together.

“Is that okay?” He couldn’t help but ask. 

Lilah was silent, lashes lowered in thought, and Sebastian wondered if he really wanted to hear the answer.

“I don’t know,” she said at last. 

Sebastian’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach. He bit the inside of his cheek and squeezed her hands, nodding once in resignation. But, when she looked up at him, her eyes sparkled with mischief and she smirked.

“After all, this is only our first ‘real’ date. Kind of cocky, aren’t you?”

“I— ” He laughed, shoulders slumping in relief, “I guess I am.”

Lilah leaned forward, tilting her head with a playful challenge.

“You’ll have to win me over first.”

“Shit, is that all?” Bas grinned. “How do I do that?”

“I can’t just tell you!” She kissed him softly. “But, we have the rest of our lives to figure it out.”


	2. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude, where's my plot? Long stories like this...I can't get them going right away. The main conflict in the story isn't even set to appear until chapter 4...I just really want these idiots to be happy!!!!! I feel like my writing is 75% build up, 10% angst, 5% payoff, and 20% being bad at math, which is why I spend my free time writing fanfiction rather than solving complex equations. NSFW content is on its way shortly, chapters containing NSFW content will be marked as such in the chapter title and won't contain any plot-moving events (unless otherwise stated in the previous chapter’s notes)so the story can be enjoyed without explicit content if desired.
> 
> As always, thank you everyone for reading, for your comments, and for the overwhelming amount of support you've given this brainchild of mine.
> 
> USA National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)//1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

She wished she could say the city felt different. The anxiety that had twisted her gut still hadn’t dissipated, though she had hoped that she would feel better after showering off the road. She had, at first, but since Bas had taken his turn in the bathroom she’d been left to her own thoughts.

The western wall of the hotel room was a window stretched from the floor to the ceiling. The entire city loomed before her, a hulking beast salivating smog and concrete. Everything about this place celebrated the strong devouring the weak, even the architecture. The sun glittered across the windows of illustrious skyscrapers shining like gemstones while casting everything else in ominous shadow, never to feel the sun’s warmth. Their room was on the 12th floor, yet the surrounding towers still stretched mockingly above her. Looking down to the street, the shadows of the buildings stretched across each other like prison bars. Lilah remembered looking skyward many a time, only to be met by the sneering of the manufactured behemoths blocking out the stars.

Maybe she should have asked Bas to take her to Calico instead. The desert town was charming, full of fresh air and open skies that stretched on for miles until you hit the painted mountain range. The mountains there were the color of sunset. Reds, pinks, and purples all swirling together and glimmering with quartz stars just as the sun began to sink below the peaks.

Lilah closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the glass. Bas had given her the option and she made her choice. He was so excited to see the city with her, she couldn’t change her mind now. She just hadn’t expected the air to feel as heavy as it did a year ago. The knowledge that there was no way they could possibly run into Emery was a small comfort, one that she hoped would steel her nerves enough to get her through the weekend, but her agitation tensed the base of her neck and twisted her muscles into knots. She rubbed the back of her neck and took a step away from the window. Her reflection stared back at her, brows furrowed and upper lip curled in a scowl.

This was not the face she wanted Bas to see when he got out of the shower.

“Fuck you.” She squared her shoulders and met her own eyes in the window. “That’s right, fuck you. I’m going to have fun this weekend whether you want me to or not.”

It didn’t matter where they were. As long as she was with Bas, she was happy. Oddly, her body felt lighter with that realization. She gave her reflection one more pointed glare and turned away from the window.

The sound of the shower stopped just as she finished unpacking her duffel bag. Her stack of folded clothes fit right next to Bas’s in the chest of drawers and she couldn’t contain a small smile at the sight. All of his clothes were so dark, from straight black graphic tees to deep navy and purple undershirts. Her own clothes were pastel and bright, lilac, pink, and sky blue colors that made her feel light and happy. The contrast between them was almost comical, yet seeing them nestled together in the drawer felt as if they didn’t belong anywhere else.

Lilah lifted his Cave Saga X shirt and ran her finger along the soft cotton. She hugged it to her chest and dipped her head just enough to gently sniff the collar. Since he’d quit smoking, the strong scent of cigarettes had slowly started fading from his clothing but there was still a hint of tobacco hidden among the scent of wood. Would storing her clothes next to his make them smell like him too? She hoped so.

What would he say if she asked him for one of his shirts to keep? Probably nothing. He’d just blush straight to his ears, maybe stutter a bit and shuffle his feet before nodding in agreement. Lilah grinned and put the shirt back on top of the pile. It would be worth the asking just to see him get flustered.

The bathroom door opened and she planned her attack, moving to sit on the edge of the bed so she could have a front row seat to arguably the best show from here to Gotoro. She tried to rein in her excited grin—if she looked too eager, he’d probably think she was just teasing him but she really did hope he’d give her a shirt. She tried to think of the best way to ask him, only going so far as to open her mouth to greet him—then her mind went blank.

Bas casually walked back into the room, oblivious as he dried his hair with a small towel. His lean torso was bare, a couple rogue droplets of water rolled down his chest and stomach only to be soaked up by the second towel slung low on his hips. He smiled at her when he noticed her and hung the small towel around his neck, leaving his damp hair thoroughly tousled.

“What’s up?” He asked.

_My temperature…_

Lilah’s body was on the verge of overheating. Everywhere her eyes darted to try and escape the overwhelming mixture of desire and embarrassment only made the situation worse. She forced herself to shake her head and swallowed thickly. 

“N-nothing.” She tried to just look away from him completely, but only succeeded in trailing her gaze down his chest to the dip of his belly button and back up again.

“You sure?”

“Yup! Ehm...I mean, yeah.” Lilah tucked her hair behind her ear, somehow the way Bas arched an eyebrow at her only added to the effect. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be staring. You’re just...so handsome.” 

There it was. Bas’s face erupted into that perfect shade of crimson and his mouth dropped open. He snapped it shut and looked away but Lilah couldn’t get any satisfaction out of his reaction when she felt just as flustered as he did.

“That...came out of nowhere,” Bas muttered. He refused to meet her eyes but she saw an adorable lift to the corners of his lips.

“Then I must not say it often enough.”

“If you say it anymore, I think my heart will explode.” Bas flashed a cheeky smile her way and turned to the dresser.

The circular scar beneath his right shoulder blade captured her attention as if it had shouted profanities at her from across the room. She hadn’t seen the wound since it healed, never had the opportunity to see much of his back. It was a lot smaller than she had expected it to be and almost a perfect circle on his skin. The edges were smooth and all that was left was a dent in the flesh where the bullet had entered rather than an upraised, gnarled, mess of tissue. 

Lilah gravitated toward him before she could even think to stop herself, tracing the scar with her fingers, and Bas’s breath hitched at the contact. She wrapped her arms around him, palms flat on his chest, and pressed her lips against it. His skin was hot from the shower and he smelled like the vague floral scent of the hotel’s complimentary soap.

“Lilah,” his voice was strained, like a thin wire about to snap, and he laughed weakly, “this really isn’t fair, you know?”

“Sorry. I just felt like I needed to touch you.”

His hand rested over hers, pressing her palm against his rapid heartbeat.

“Then...touch me.”

Lilah kissed between his shoulder blades, trailing her hands out from under his and down his torso. Her palms glided over his skin, slipping around his waist to slowly run up his spine. She followed the line of his back, swept over his shoulders and down his arms to where his hands fisted at his sides. It only took a light pressure on his wrist to make him turn to face her. His face, neck, and chest burned scarlet. His eyes watched her with that molten stare that made her knees weak but he made no move to stop her.

Her hands left his skin just long enough to sweep his hair out of his face. Her fingers traced his brow, his cheekbones, his perfect nose. His lips parted as her touch brushed his bottom lip, a soft sound breaking the silence of the hotel room. She continued down, feeling his throat bob beneath her touch, his pulse thumping erratically on the side of his neck. He was alive. Despite everything, they were both alive. It was the greatest miracle on the planet to be together, to be able to touch him, laugh with him. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to fully explain how grateful she was to have him beside her. 

Bas took a step closer to her, pressing himself against her hands, but he still didn’t try to touch her. He let her take her time, let her explore the dip of his clavicle and the bumps of his ribs. Finally, she reached the towel wrapped around his hips.

It was the point of no return. She could lead him to the bed, rip the damn thing away and toss it to some corner of the room to be forgotten. She wanted to. More than she had wanted anything, she wanted to become his in every sense of the word and make him hers. She wanted to feel him against her, hear more of those soft noises as she touched him, watch him lose himself with her. But, with desire came that blood-chilling fear. It stamped out the fire of passion and left her cold and twisted up inside. 

What if she froze up again?

She could say she wanted him until she was blue in the face, yet her body seemed determined to contradict her at every turn. Her mind shouted that she was disgusting. Like an oil spill in the ocean, she would stain him black from the inside out until he couldn’t even recognize himself. He’d been shot because of her— Ding-Dong-Ditched at Death’s door and was lucky enough to get away with it. Every dark corner of her mind mocked her for thinking she was remotely worthy of having any sort of future with him, no matter how badly the rest of her felt like she was finally right where she’d always wanted to be.

The heat of his hands cupping her cheeks was a shock to her system. She hadn’t realized she’d frozen—again. Bas tilted her face up and pressed a soft lingering kiss on her forehead that made her eyes flutter shut. His thumbs stroked her cheeks, fingers spreading to lightly trace the edges of her jaw. When he pulled away, it was with a gentle smile.

“I’m going to get dressed. I have something I want to give you.”

Lilah cocked her head to the side but nodded. She moved to the bed to give him some room, unable to contain a small smile as he pulled out the same shirt she’d held to her chest just a few moments earlier. 

Once he was fully clothed, he grabbed his bag and retrieved a small package wrapped in light purple wrapping paper, complete with a silver bow. He grinned and hopped up onto the bed beside her, nestling himself against the pillows and urging her to do the same. Lilah crawled across the king sized bed, settling between his legs with her back pressed against his chest. Bas wrapped his arms around her, passing the gift into her waiting hands.

“Happy Birthday,” he said.

“Thank you. But, it’s not my birthday for another two months.” Lilah gently traced her fingers over the wrapping.

“Yeah, well...It was supposed to be your gift for the Feast of the Winter Star but it didn’t get delivered in time.” Bas rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile, “I figured an early present is better than a late one, you know?”

“Any present is on time if it’s from you.” Lilah leaned back and kissed his cheek. “Can I open it now?”

He nodded, resting his chin on her shoulder. Lilah tugged at the bow and removed the ribbon. After discarding the wrapping, she lifted the lid on the white box underneath and blinked.

Inside was a cellphone, packaged next to its charger and earbuds. It was already protected by a holographic blue case. A rubber strap hung from the top, a sky blue color with strawberries painted all around. She carefully lifted it from the box and the screen brightened, revealing a photograph from Spirit’s Eve as the lockscreen.

Their group stood behind a golden pumpkin—a trophy for making it through the haunted maze. Abigail clasped one of Lilah’s hands in hers, raised it high above their heads in victory with a wide grin splitting her face. Her witch’s hat was halfway off her head, skirt flared wildly from her excited leaping.

Lilah’s eyes were closed from laughter. She hadn’t had a costume so Abigail had dressed her in a dark purple gothic-style dress, complete with a corset. Her other hand was entwined with Bas’s— dressed as a mage for the night, he was suffering a headlock from the celebrating warrior, Sam. Despite his predicament of Sam practically climbing on top of him in glee, his eyes were on her. He looked at her softly with a gentle smile that warmed her heart through the screen.

“It’s technically a present from all of us. We all pitched in.”

Lilah knew her eyes were welling up. The joy at seeing the people she cared about smiling back at her on the screen was overwhelming. She blinked back the tears and turned in Bas’s lap, throwing her arms around him and kissing him solidly.

“Thank you— _all_ of you. I love it so much.”

He rubbed her back, meeting her kiss with a smile.

“There’s more.” 

Lilah swiped up on the lockscreen and opened up the photos app as Bas recommended. It was filled with all the pictures she had missed out on, festival photos and candids from their Friday night saloon trips. It would take her days to go through them all. Some music had been added as well—a collection of favorites separated into different playlists named after each of them.

From there, Bas directed her to the contacts icon.

“Our numbers are already in there.” He laughed lightly, “though I’m supposed to tell you that Abigail called ‘dibs’ on being your first text.”

Numbers. It sounded strange. She’d gone so long with one contact in her phone: a haunting reminder that she was all alone in the world with its owner. She’d had no one else to lean on, no one to reach out to, and when that number blinked to life on her screen it only meant Hell was about to step through her door. 

She hesitated before tapping on the screen. A split second fear that there would be nothing but Emery’s number staring back at her kept her fingers frozen in midair, but Bas’s head resting against her shoulder urged her to move. True to his word, Abigail, Sam, and Sebastian’s name were listed under Favorites. 

Bas tightened his embrace as she wiped at her eyes. She didn’t mean to cry but the tears wouldn’t stop. She sniffled and leaned into his warmth while he murmured quietly into her hair, whispered reassurances that almost had her crying harder.

Three contacts.

She had _three_.

The next screen greeted her with a picture of Abigail snuggling with Lumos and planting a smooch on the feline’s face, the same number she had signed on the bar napkin seemingly so long ago was registered beneath the photo.

Sam’s was next. His picture tossed her a cheeky wink and two thumbs up. Some dirt was smudged on his cheek, a leaf stuck in his wild mane of blond hair. He’d probably just wiped out on his skateboard. 

Lilah laughed wetly and snuggled closer to Bas’s chest. She never thought something as simple as a cellphone could bring her so much joy that she couldn’t rein in her own emotions. Her heart fluttered with giddiness. The world had been opened to her, nestled comfortably in the palm of her hand just as perfectly as she fit in Bas’s arms.

She wondered what his picture was, tried to imagine him posing and taking selfies specifically for his contact photo. She was a little disappointed when she tapped his name and only his number showed up on the screen.

“You didn’t put a picture?” 

“I thought you might want to take one together,” Bas offered.

Lilah blinked. After a beat, she nodded, frantically scrubbing the tears from her face.

“I—Yes! I do!” It was something she’d never known she’d wanted but now that she had the option, it felt like she couldn’t live without it. She opened the camera app just as Bas snuck a kiss against her temple.

“Let’s take a few. You can pick your favorite that way.”

“I’m pretty sure all of them will be my favorite.” She meant it genuinely but Bas’s reaction made it all the better. On the screen, she saw him shift behind her, burying his blushing face into the side of her neck.

With a triumphant smile, Lilah snapped a picture.

* * *

Candlelit dinners and late night walks were nauseatingly cliched. Sebastian had never been the type to fantasize about his perfect idea of a date, but he was always certain he would never stoop so low as to resort to such tired methods. Yet, when he had promised Lilah a “real” date, he’d realized he had no idea what to do. He’d spent what felt like hours pouring over the options, reaching the conclusion that he really hadn’t the slightest clue on what would be considered romantic. Even after all his work was finished, he’d been left with an empty promise and no idea how to follow through.

It’d taken a small amount of liquid courage for him to walk up the stairs, a few calming breaths to knock on the door of the lab, and digging his nails into his palms to keep himself from running away as he waited for Demetrius to open the door. His stepfather hadn’t even tried to hide his surprise when he saw Sebastian standing there, awkwardly shifting on his feet with a tense grimace twisting his mouth.

_“I need your help,” Sebastian bit out._

_Demetrius stared at him. His warm brown eyes softened and he smiled lightly as he stepped aside for him to enter. Sebastian had sat on a stool, watched Maru bounce from counter to counter, dropping strange colored liquids onto soil and plant samples as he tried to gather his thoughts. Demetrius crossed his trunk-like arms and leaned against the counter. He waited patiently as Sebastian explained his dilemma, nodding when appropriate but letting him get it all out before speaking._

_“If you’re going to the city, there are plenty of nice restaurants. You can always start there,” Demetrius offered._

_“But that’s so... boring .”_

_Demetrius grinned, his teeth bright under the full-spectrum lighting of the lab._

_“It’s tried and true. Your mom and I spent our first date at the saloon and walking along the beach. We were married six months later.”_

_“Yeah, I remember.” Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck. It was the first time he could remember seeing her so happy and she hadn’t stopped smiling since._

_“Take her stargazing!” Maru piped up. She scurried over and held out her University ID. “There’s an observatory at Zuzu U! You can use my ID to get in.”_

_“Somehow I don’t think they’d believe I was you.” Sebastian ruffled her hair, smirking as her cheeks puffed in indignation._

_“The important thing is that you just have fun,” Demetrius settled a large, warm hand on his shoulder, “treat her well, make sure she knows she’s special, and the rest will take care of itself.”_

Even as he offered a strained thanks, Sebastian hadn’t felt any step closer to a solution. Now, watching her put on evening make up in their hotel room, he finally understood why dinner was such a popular date idea.

The sweater dress she bought that afternoon was just off her shoulders, her farmer’s tan had faded over the winter and left her skin glowing like moonlight from beneath her clothes. (He realized almost too late that the restaurant had a dress code, but she’d only laughed and said they should probably get shopping when he told her in a mild panic.) The plum colored fabric clung to her, accentuating all the right places that were usually hidden by loose tank tops and T-shirts. Long legs stretched out from under the skirt, shielded from the cold weather outside by dark stockings patterned like lace. Her black hair was loose and fluffy from the hotel’s blow dryer, smokey eyes lined with black kohl liner. 

He leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom, watched her slide a wand of liquid lipstick along her full lips, painting them a wine-like color that made him feel like he’d just finished a whole bottle by himself. Even covered in dirt and sweat from spending the day in the fields, he wanted her. But taking her in as she was now, all sharp eyeliner and feminine curves, putting so much effort into her appearance just for a night out with him, was like an arrow straight through his heart. 

Like a man possessed, he stepped into the bathroom. Her eyes flicked to his reflection in the mirror and she smiled, screwing the lipstick bottle shut with a quick movement. He stopped behind her and his hands sought out her hips on their own accord, enticed by the stretch of fabric wrapping around her like a second skin. Lilah leaned back against his chest, head gently bumping against the black button down he’d found while they were out. 

“You look beautiful,” he said.

“It’s not too much?” She shifted, fingers twirling the ends of her hair insecurely. Sebastian hummed in thought and gently turned her to face him. She looked up from beneath her lashes, tilting her face back automatically to meet his lips as he dipped his head to kiss her.

Her lipstick tasted like blackberries.

“Perfect.”

Lilah giggled into his next kiss, her small hands smoothing across his shoulders. He half-heartedly considered canceling their reservation, the prospect of keeping her all to himself was far more appealing. When she let him back her against the bathroom counter and lift her up to sit on the marble countertop, he almost reached for his phone.

“Bas,” she gasped lightly when he stepped between her knees, “you’re going to smudge it.”

“Oh no,” he said dryly. His mischievous grin reflected back at him from the mirror at her back. Lilah pouted, pushing her sweet lips closer, but she didn’t stop him when he kissed her again and again. Her fingers ran through his hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp and sending lightning down to the base of his spine.

Sebastian sucked lightly on her lower lip, coaxing her mouth open so he could slide his tongue against hers. She sighed a soft sound into his mouth, pulling him closer with trembling fingers.

His thoughts flashed to when she had touched him earlier. She’d explored his torso with hands that left fire in their wake, curious touches that made him want to abandon all reason and fucking _beg_ her not to stop. The need to touch her the same way was so overwhelming, he couldn’t stop his hands from sliding along her lace-covered thighs.

“This okay?”

“Yes,” she sighed against his lips, edging closer when his thumbs massaged circles into her legs.

A loud alarm beeped from his back pocket, alerting them that they needed to leave soon in order to make it to the restaurant in time. Sebastian groaned and kissed her harder, as though his phone could get the message that now was not the time to be interrupting. Just five more minutes, surely they could get away with that much. He pulled away and grabbed his phone, silencing the shrieking alarm through gritted teeth. Lilah watched him through half-lidded eyes, lips parted as she tried to catch her breath.

He definitely needed more than five minutes.

Lilah cupped his face in her hands, gracing him with one last kiss before scooting to the edge of the counter. He helped her down, kissing the pad of her thumb as she ran it over his lips. 

“When we get back…” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, gnawing lightly as she gathered her thoughts. Eventually, her eyes darted up to meet his. “I want to try again.”

Sebastian groaned and rested his forehead against her. How could she say it while looking at him so intensely? The wings of her eyeliner made her stare even sharper, stabbing deep into every part of him. He could have dropped to his knees in front of her.

“Of course,” he laughed weakly, holding her to his body for stability, “but, fuck, now I’m going to be distracted all night.”

She laughed, as gentle as the hands running along his back as she embraced him.

“I’ll try to make it up to you,” she whispered directly into his ear. She must have felt him shiver against her because a delighted smile split her face when she stepped away. Her hands slipped down his chest and she turned back to the counter. She dug through her make up bag and pulled out a small package of wipes, silently handing it over to him with sparkling eyes before she left the bathroom.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at the light blue packaging and checked himself in the mirror. Deep burgundy red smeared across his lips, almost to his chin. He grinned, tongue darting out to get one last taste of blackberries before he snatched a damp towelette out of the bag and scrubbed his mouth clean.

When he finally followed a giggling Lilah out, he was sure he still smiled like an idiot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Fruit For All Seasons will be updated in mid-October to early November 2019 — this is to allow me time to work on some one-shots that have been brewing for a while and to give myself a breather before making it my main project again. Thank you for your support and patience!


	3. Message

Hello! Allow me to preface this message by saying that this story is **NOT** being shelved, cancelled, or otherwise being put on hiatus. That being said, those of you who have been following this story from the start will notice that chapters 3 and 4 have been deleted. I hope that you will indulge me and read this message with as much openness as you would a full update.

This is a story about healing. I started Bury My Heart as a personal project to try and work through my own trauma (most of what is described in that story is an exaggeration for drama and story purposes, not necessarily a play-by-play of my past) and, for the most part, I can say it’s helped me immensely. The wonderful feedback and response this story has received is both humbling and unexpected, and it reminded me what I love most about writing. However, there is plenty in Bury My Heart as well as this season that I have censored, reined in, and otherwise “fluffified” to avoid making the story too dark to be palatable. This is a choice I have come to regret.

The last two chapters were exceptionally difficult for me to write. At the time, I had no idea why. I chalked it up to losing steam, writer’s block, the stress of my job. However, those were just excuses. The reason for this impromptu author’s note is that last night, in the middle of work, I had an absolute break down. I threw down my radio, ran out into the parking lot, and screamed and cried until I had to make the conscious effort to breathe or else I thought that I would pass out. For those that do not know: I am a 911 Dispatcher. My job relies on my being level-headed, impartial, and ability to put aside my own fear and heartbreak in order to help the person that calls for aid. I am proud to say that I have never had an issue with that responsibility.

But last night, the person on the other end of my line was my abuser of over 20 years.

He did not call for a life or death emergency. I did not have to make some grand moral decision as to whether or not I could put aside my complete hatred, fear, and disgust for this man in order to help him. He called for a simple request that I could have handled without having to dispatch law enforcement and he never would have been the wiser that it was me. But I couldn’t do it. I held it together long enough to ask him to hold and asked my supervisor to take the call instead.

Then I ran. I completely lost control in a way that I haven’t done since I escaped that prison of a home. My supervisor came to check on me—he is my mentor, the one who trained me and pushed me to succeed in this career, and my closest friend both at the Operations Center and outside of work. He let me cry, even asked me if I wanted to go home, but I refused.

I was mortified to have lost my composure in front of all my coworkers whom I respect and cherish as if they were my blood. Going home would only have made it worse—if I had been alone with my thoughts, I honestly cannot say what I may have done.

The reason that I tell you this story is because I realized why the last two chapters were so difficult for me to write. I was trying to force the characters to be happy despite still needing time to heal. I was so sick of worrying that I—or Lilah—would be coming across as needy, whiny, or annoying. I imagined you, the reader, rolling your eyes and saying, “get over it already!”

So I locked it all away. I tried to force myself to get over it. I tried to force Lilah to get over it. That was wrong. I was wrong. I’ve let you down as a reader by cheapening the experiences that the character has gone through. I let myself down by believing that if I wrote happiness, it would make everything horrible just disappear.

I can do better. I can be better.

So I ask for your patience, and forgiveness, as I rewrite the last two chapters to reflect what they should have been. I will make them more akin to my original vision, which will leave the eventual ultimate ending that much more satisfying. I may go back and edit Bury My Heart a bit as well (no major changes, only an effort to stop censoring myself out of fear), but this story will take priority.

I thank you all for your support, from Bury My Heart to now. I wish you health and happiness during this epidemic and I will see you in the next chapter.

With love,

VaultBunny


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